Of Plushies and Peanut Butter
by FooFooCudlyPoops
Summary: A cute little ONESHOT about a Teddy Bear and a stuffed Moose who just wana open a jar of peanut butter. Rated T for about one sentence containing foul language :P R&R!


:) Hey guys! Long time no update! Well this is a little short inspired by one night when I stayed up with my friend before she left on a flight and she wanted me to write a story with her as a Teddy Bear. The rest just kind of flowed out haha. .. I don't even know if she likes peanut butter.. O_O Well, there's probably a few mistakes- I'm to lazy to find them all-.

If I don't do anymore updates then Happy Holidays!

As always- R&R, Thank you!

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Kaysie growled and slammed the jar of peanut butter down on its side on the white kitchen counter. "Emily! Come over here, I need your help!"

A small stuffed moose sighed and walked towards her friend, leaving behind the meat cleaver she was playing with. "What do you want?" She asked, putting stuffed hooves on her hips as she came to stand beside Kayise.

"I can't open this god forsaken peanut butter." The teddy bear mumbled, clearly frustrated at her lack of opposable thumbs. She put a foot on the jar and kicked it a little.

Emily gave Kaysie a look with one sewed on eyebrow raised. "You cant.. Open a jar of peanut butter?- Why would you even _want _to open a jar of peanut butter? You have no mouth!"

Kaysie turned to Emily and crossed her arms. "I resent that!"

The moose sighed and walked forward, pushing the bears foot off the jar and pulling it upright. "Well I don't have any opposable thumbs… And you don't have any opposable thumbs… So I'm thinking-"

"We have to find somebody with opposable thumbs!" Kaysie blurted out, throwing one arm up in the air as to emphasize her point.

Emily gave Kaysie a sideways glance. "Exactly." She put a hoof on her chin. "But who?"

Both plushies stood on the counter pondering this dilemma.

Who in the house could help them? Cindy, the young girl, would probably be too excited to see her two favorite stuffed animals talking to help them (plus she was too small to reach the counter), her mother was out of the question. Carol, the housekeeper, would most likely call the cops and turn herself in to the looney bin, and neither Kaysie nor Emily wanted to risk giving either of the grandparents a hard attack.

Then there were the other stuffed animals… But the only one with thumbs was the monkey. And after considering it they decided he was a mega dooshe and wouldn't do a damned thing but get them torn apart by the dogs.

Then, as the kitchen lights above their head went on, they had an idea. The teenager known as Jackie could help them! He wasn't too old, wasn't too young, and was most likely to help them and then just go about his normal business like he hadn't just seen his sisters stuffed animals walking and talking and… Trying to eat peanut butter.

"-The hell is this!" Yelled a voice from across the room.

Both plushies jumped, and Kaysie began screaming in Emily's ear.

This of course, only made the other person begin to yell, and so they all stood around and yelled for about 2 minutes.

When they finally calmed down their attention was directed to Kaysie, who was hurriedly trying to stuff stuffing back inside her leg.

"I got a little excited and my seams ripped, OK? Jeesuz- Son of a Nutcracker!"

Jackie had somehow gotten hold of a rolling pin and was holding it in front of him defensively. "What are you and what are you doing in my house?" He commanded, looking from moose to teddy bear.

Emily took a step forward with hooves up and pointed to herself. "Well I'm Emily, the friendly neighborhood Moose." She then pointed to Kaysie who was still trying to shove stuffing back through her seams. "… And that's Kaysie, the Teddy Bear and village idiot."

Kaysie narrowed her beaded eyes. "I heard that!"

"You were supposed too!" Emily shot back over her shoulder. She then turned back to Jackie. "Now if you could just help us open this jar of peanut butter we'll just be on our-"

Suddenly the rolling pin was in the air and Emily went flying behind the counter.

Kaysie looked up with wide eyes. "Say now, Bub…"

Jackie took a step forward. "Don't make me use this!"

Kaysie took a step back, eyes going from the rolling pin, to Jackie, to the still unopened bottle of peanut butter.

Off to the side Emily could be seen struggling to pull herself back up onto the corner. She finally managed to pull herself up and stood crouched over with hooves on her knees, panting. "Whew… That's one heck of a fall…"

On the other end of the counter Kaysie suddenly sprang forward, Supermanning herself at the peanut butter. "YOU CANT HAVE ANY!!!"

Jackie, thinking she was leaping up at him to rip his face off, swung the rolling pin at her.

Kaysie missed the jar and went sliding right past Emily and off the counter, while Jackie hit the peanut butter right on the lid, splitting it in two and effectively opening the jar.

Emily watched, still trying to catch her breath, as Kaysie went careening past her off the side of the counter screaming like a banshee, and the rolling pin bounced back off the lid and hit Jackie square in the forehead, knocking him out.

She stood up, tilted her head to the side and looked off the side of the counter at both figures. Jackie was lying on the ground with an enourmous goose egg forming on his forehead, and Kaysie had landed butt-up in a pile of shoes, and her legs were flailing as she tried to get out. "Serves them right, the crazies…"

A few moments later Kaysie was rolling in peanut butter and Emily was sitting off to the side, staring in disgust at her peanut butter covered friend.

"Peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter!" Kasyie yelled over and over again, grabbing it up in handfuls and smothering it over her face.

"Ew…" Emily mumbled, and walked over to the edge of the counter to check on Jackie, who still hadn't woken up.

Suddenly she was pounced on from behind and Kaysie was on her back, kicking her stuffing sides.

"Onwurd nobel steed!" Kaysie yelled, repeatedly kicking Emily.

Panicking Emily stumbled forward, getting closer and closer to the edge of the table. "Get off me you piece of lard!"

Emily lost her footing and both of them fell of the edge of the counter, Kaysie screaming and laughing the whole way.

Jackie awoke to a moose butt in his face and Emily tried to walk down the hallway with Kaysie still on her back.

"High-ho Silver!- Away!" Kaysie yelled, kicking Emily in the sides.

"Stop doing that!" Emily screeched, as they stumbled like a drunken pair down the hallway. They then turned the corner into Cindy's room and disappeared from view.

Jackie could still hear Kaysie yelling until he heard a door close, and then no more.

He got up, holding his aching head and squinted his eyes, looking around him. His attention was averted to a large mass of brown on the countertop, in which seeing he blinked once, twice, and then proceeded to turn around and go straight to his room and never come back out again.

On the counter was a giant glob of peanut butter, with bear shaped peanut butter angels and 'KAYSIE WAS HERE' written all over.

And that was the end of his sanity.


End file.
